I have no idea what title I should put for this post. I have read so many posts of this similar genre recently. So I decided, I too am going to chip in. It seems people are now talking about 'the coming of age'. What is it? To me I find it as something where you reach a certain sense of maturity that you can really be yourself without doubting yourself and that you are independent enough that you dont have to rely on anyone for anything. Frankly, I think its impossible at any cause. People constantly need others help and maturity is such a subjective word that expends far and beyond.
I am 19. Most blog's I read are about the same age or in the 20's. Prash and another guy are the ones that are well above 30. When I read their blogs, I get to know them better. Their point of views in life, how they see it and the way they project it. Every person by age seems to have a different point of view. I guess the younger you are, the carefree is your mind. To me personally, I still find the topic of Sex, Religion & Race and Politics a topic that I do not intend to go unless needed. The thing is, not because I am 19 I see myself as not needing to contribute to this kind of conversations, but I find if I can use my mind to think of somethig else then such serious topics rather then something more breezy and mellow, it would be more appropriate. However, I do find the whole SRRP should very much be discussed by the younger generation so that our minds are more open and we do not repeat past mistakes.But I somehow find it to abressive. When I read my friends blogs or even talk to them, sometimes I do find that they are so far sighted or far fetched that I find myself grasping for that teeniest breath of air trying to understand what are they projecting. Mostly the hasle of doing so beats me up fast, I rather not get myself to understand then to just merely nod my head. Of course it doesnt mean I dont understand what they say, I do. But sometimes I guess, eg.Prash, his blogs are quite mature and very heavy with facts. But I guess, his sense of maturing is like that.
To me I cant find a word to describe myself. I do not want to limit myself to a few words. I am by no means a man of few words, so goes my character. At 19, although above the 18 bar, I still find myself with the face of a 17, the mind of a 16 and the maturity of a 15. I have no idea why I find myself in this position, but I dont see myself as peculiar. I see myself as unique. Now, acquaitance tells me that I act like a kid and I do things childishly and that I am a mommy's boy. By right, any boy should be bruised by those words. But I find it rather appaling and nothing for me to feel hurt by. If I do not act stupidly and childishly now, then when can I? In the near future I will be judged like an adult. Might as well enjoy the young age now and dont regret it. I rather think and act like a kid then carry the burden of an adult so young. The burden of bills and responsibilties and sense of doing something without mistakes are just not me, yet.I have had many people thinking I was 17 or 16. They always think I am young. At some point I get quite upset and annoyed because then I am never taken seriously. But of course, they all take a step backward when I open my mouth. Actually, being noticed as 17,16 or 15 has been nothing but a pleasure at 19. I am still passed as a kid, I get the bigger pie of money during festival times, I pay student price for most things(restaurants, theme parks, and entries to certain places). I get away with alot of things easier. For most of my friends and my elder sister and my cousins, its a no-no. None of them look that young I guess. Even my cousin who are younger then me.
So you see, the whole coming of age syndrome does not affect me least bit. I am not bothered by it because it does not bother me. Heck, I am happy because its making me feel more positive as I enjoy alot more of things and get away with many easily. I know at some point I have to step back, look at myslelf in the mirror and say " Diran, its time to change".
But for now, I think thats not necessary. I really dont give two flying fucks to anyone who tells me that I am childish or naive or innocent or some shallow minded person. The fact is, I rather be labelled that now, then later. And plus, I always believe it takes one to know another. My bloging partners and friends can go all night long or as the saying goes 'till the cows go home' about this thing. I belive my coming of age has yet to come, and unlike others:
I hope it comes later then sooner......
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